Dear Upset Spouse,

Don't give up. There's still hope for you even if your spouse:

• Refuses to go to marriage counseling,

• Isn't "in love" with you any longer,

• Wants a marriage separation,

• Doesn't know if he or she wants to stay married,

• Has asked for a divorce, or

• Is already living separately from you.

It can feel like the end of the world when a spouse says “I don’t love you anymore” or “I’m leaving.”

Especially if you didn’t see it coming.

You’ve probably found that the announcement impacts every aspect of your life, and now you may be wondering if you can keep your balance.

If you’re like most people in your situation, you’re probably feeling scared and confused, not knowing what to do next. And the truth is you’re not alone. You’ve got plenty of company of others like you who don’t know what to do.

You probably weren’t taught positive marriage-building skills in school. If you’re like most people, you’re having to learn on your own.

And there are two main ways people usually learn: by trial and error or by finding out what people who are successful do.

You don’t have time to waste on trial and error attempts to discover what will save your marriage. You need to know what precise steps to take right now to keep your spouse from bolting out of the marriage.

Do You Have These Symptoms of Marital Distress?

Many in your situation experience these emotions and thoughts as their marriage is unraveling:

• Devastated - "I've lost my dream of marital happiness."

• Hopeless - "I don't know what to do."

• Pessimistic - "Even marriage counseling probably won't help."

• Angry, especially if there's been an affair - "How could he (or she) do this?"

• Embarrassed - "What will I tell my family, friends, and neighbors?"

• Afraid - "How can I handle this financially? I've read that an average divorce in the U.S. costs over $20,000."

• Worried - "How will the kids be affected if we divorce?"

• Lonely - "How will I find someone else? I don't want to deal with the dating scene again."

One of my clients who went through divorce told me "I'd much rather have 10 root canals done on me that to go through that again. " Unfortunately, this experience is all too common.

It doesn't have to happen to you!

Don't give up on improving your marriage! There's still hope for you. Read on.

Wouldn't You Like to Know...

How to Begin Upgrading Your Marriage Today?

As an experienced counselor, I can tell you what to do to maximize your chances of success. I can also help you avoid actions that will only waste your time and energy.

It just makes sense to learn what other couples have done who have rebuilt enduring passionate marriages . Don’t you want that too?

The good news is that there’s always hope that you can turn your marriage around. By using my system you could:

• Save tens of thousands of dollars in divorce costs^*,

• Keep your dream alive of having a happy marriage,

• Save weeks or months in divorce court, and

• Save untold stress on yourself and other family members (your kids, their grandparents, etc.)

Your spouse’s announcement of unhappiness is serious but it doesn’t have to be the end of your relationship. It is, however, a wakeup call to you. It means that you have to take positive action if you don’t want your mate to walk out the door.

^*(According to a Utah State University study, an average divorce in the U.S. costs over $27,000.)

Now Get 52 Issues a Year of Free Expert Advice on How to Keep Your Marriage (a $197 value) Sign Up Now and You'll Receive as a Bonus Five FREE Articles That Will Give You New Insights to Improve Your Marriage. “I always look forward to your weekly magazine. It has helped me to be more positive about my marriage. Thanks so much!” --Kelly "I'm learning more about how to handle problems in my marriage just from reading the question and answer section each week. It's one of my favorite parts of the magazine." -- Wes Name Primary Email Address We will never share your email address with anyone!

Don’t Accidentally Push Your Spouse out the Door

It’s important to realize that certain impulsive reactions from you could push your partner to leave the marriage. Don’t blast him (or her) with questions. Don’t overpower him with rage.

Yes, you may feel justified to act in these ways.

But be careful with behaviors that could shatter your chances for marital recovery. You can shoot yourself in the foot if you do the wrong thing now.

I’ve seen clients throw a fit when they got the announcement “I don’t love you anymore.” But just as a raging bull can destroy a china shop , unleashed fury can ruin any chance of patching things up.

Explosions never hold anything together. Especially in a marriage.

But they can sabotage your future with your spouse if you’re not careful. Because there’s still a chance for you to have a happy marriage if you know what to do.

Why You Can’t Argue with Your Spouse’s Feelings

You may want to tell your spouse that she (or he) is wrong for having feelings of wanting to leave the marriage.

I’ve seen quite a few partners who try to talk their mates out of having the feelings that have finally bubbled to the surface and now threaten the marriage.

But it won’t work.

Such efforts to change the mind of the partner are futile and are destined to fail. Why? Because there is a history of unhappiness behind the words.

And you can’t change history with an argument!

What has happened is that a history of dissatisfaction has built up on the side of the spouse threatening to leave. Whether the surprised partner considers the reasons given to be valid or not doesn’t alter the fact that the unhappiness exists.

Whatever you do...

Don’t fall into the trap of arguing or telling your partner that she (or he) is wrong.

Why?

Because her perception is her reality.And it's the basis for her feelings and the decisions she makes. You will only make your mate defensive and more entrenched in her viewpoint if you make the mistake of arguing.

Why Fighting Your Situation Will Hurt You

The first thing you must do is accept the situation as a given.

You’ll need to accept your spouse’s discontent if you want to positively influence the disastrous turn your marriage is taking.

Even if you disagree with the reasons your mate gives you for being unhappy.

This doesn’t mean you have to agree with your partner’s reasons.

Not at all.

Nor does it necessarily mean accepting the partner at his (or her) word if he says that he’s leaving.

But if you understand the true meaning of acceptance, you’ll understand how it can mean the difference between divorce and a happy union.

You have to start where the other person is when you’re trying to understand why they feel as they do. And you have to acknowledge the reality that your spouse has differing perceptions and feelings.

They aren’t “wrong.” They’re just different from yours. Failure to acknowledge this will hurt your chances of patching things up.

Is Your Handling of Your Marriage Crisis Actually Hastening Divorce?

Your actual reaction to crisis isn’t based on what happens to you.

Instead your reaction is based on your interpretation of what happens to you and what you believe it means.

One man’s wife might announce that she wants a divorce. His unconscious belief is that his wife is leaving him because he is inadequate and this means that he’s not a good person. And therefore, he’s not lovable or attractive. So he reacts with rage because he feels threatened.

Another husband might react with sympathy and concern for his wife.

He might believe that the wife is under stress and needs emotional support. He asks himself if his excessive hours at the office have driven a wedge between them.

He reaches out to her to try to reestablish a connection.

These are two very different reactions. And each response will produce its own very different outcome in a marriage.

I'll show you how to reevaluate your reactions to get the results you want.

How You Choose to React Is Your Call

But the Wrong Call Could End Your Marriage!

It’s up to you to decide which of these approaches you want to follow. If you’ve chosen a response but you’re not happy with the results you’re getting, you can choose to change your situation.

You don’t have to stay stuck in a way of reacting that isn’t working for you or helping your marriage.

It’s important to remember that you can choose to change your reaction anytime.

Just decide to do so.

You’re probably familiar with the saying, “If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll just get more of the same.”

You always have the opportunity to decide how you will react to a situation.

If your first reaction is to give up, you can decide to take a different approach instead. If a painter doesn’t like the colors he has initially picked, he paints over the canvas and selects different colors.

A writer who doesn’t like the story she’s writing can decide to start a new story. So can you.

I'll teach you ways to transform your self awareness in ways that'll help you react to stressful situations differently.

You Can Create a New Marriage Every Day...If You Know How

But if you don't know how, you'll stay stuck where you are. And unless something changes, your marriage is in trouble.

In one sense you're like a writer of a movie. You are writing the script of your life each and every day with the decisions and the choices you make.

And if you have the courage to face the truth and admit that what you’ve been doing has not given you the results you want, you can change yourself and your own actions.

And this will change your life.

If you’re willing to take responsibility for your behavior, the way will be paved for positive change in your marriage. One of the most powerful decisions that a spouse can make is to commit to taking responsibility for the quality of his relationship with his partner.

What’ll Happen to You if You Do Nothing

My guess is that you're afraid that your marriage is probably headed for divorce, otherwise you wouldn't have read this far. And if you don't change your direction, you won't change your destination.

But before you make a decision on what to do, I want you to ask yourself:

• What will be the true cost of your divorce, besides thousands of dollars? Enormous stress, hundreds of hours of your time, your own health going downhill? The list goes on.

• Is your marriage worth the effort of learning new ways to reconnect with your partner?

• If you don't take action now, how much regret will you feel if you lose your marriage?

• How much pain are you suffering because your spouse is threatening to leave?

• How would your divorce negatively affect other family members, such as children, parents, and grandparents?

The answers to these questions give you a good idea of how committed you are to keeping your marriage.

So have you convinced yourself to do whatever it takes to preserve the precious treasure you have—your marriage? Why not take immediate action instead of continuing to spin your wheels?

Here's How You Can
Get Started

Relighting the Marriage Flame
With Your Spouse...

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Ordering Information

Your Satisfaction Is Our Primary Goal OK Nancy, You inspire me to trust you for the next eight weeks with my faith in your book. I'm willing to try your suggestions with the understanding that if I fail to: Have a better connection to my spouse, Spend better quality time with him or her, Have more fun and intimacy when we are together, Get more satisfaction out of my relationship, I will have every right to demand my money back anytime up to eight weeks after making an honest effort to follow your tips if they don't deliver amazing results. I'm willing to get Keep Your Marriage based on your IRON-CLAD GUARANTEE of my money back if my life as a spouse doesn't dramatically improve as a result. Credit Cards Are Accepted for International Orders If you reside outside the United States, your credit card purchase will automatically be converted to U.S. dollars. If you choose to order the printed copy plus the ebook and for any reason you are dissatisfied, simply return the printed copy and we'll gladly refund 100% of your purchase price. You keep all of the bonuses. Order now through ClickBank, and get instant access! Order Ebook for $29.95 Online Checks Keep Your Marriage Is Published by Adesso Press

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